When Things Get Hard To Bare

one of the hardest things in life to bear is for your effects to be unrecognized when you've given your all and all to the best of your ability. As a young immature girl i realized that once i became responsible for the rearing of the life of another, that my life as I once knew it was over, now my focus has to be for those lives depending upon me, and did not ask to come here, my responsibility's and obligation had to be for their well being and to provide and protect them until they come of age. It hurts to look back over the years at all the sacrifices that had to be made and hear the words coming from my child once she became of age that i was no good to her as a parent, when i thought i was doing what would appear to be the best for her. Difficult times and lack of support I'll admit life was not easy, and when things got really difficult she would always leave home and go to her godmother. She never accepted discipline or correction, and have always been very materialistic, many times i could not live up to, because i had to concentrate on the basic needs of food, clothes, and shelter, and she was never satisfied with just having to make do,so she would go to where she knew she could have her own way. there came a time when i was no longer able to care for myself and she took me in, it was clear to me that it was only because she felt obligated to, and she felt her life was being deprived, and it was just in the way, so I left as soon as I was able to do so, she was demanding that I assisted in support for the ravishing lifestyle she was determined to live, and expecting financial support from me with my limited income to sustain her elaborate life style. My case manager said to her that it was not right for her to demand support from me, and that was no way to treat your mother. I now reside between two residences, because for me to totally exclude myself from her life it would force her into a financial deficit she could not be able to hold up, and I don't want to see that happen, nor do I want to hinder her life in any way.Life for me is beginning to come together, however my life is still rather at a stand still, because in order for me to move ahead it would mean I would no longer in some respect be a rock for her to lean on, so I suppose you might say that I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, but however life goes on. She cares for me when i can able her to attain the things in life she desires to have, otherwise I serve no cause and would just be in her way. Sounds pretty rough I know, but nothing stays the same and somehow his too will change, I don't know how or when, but I just want t live a contented life and have everyone around me do the same, if that is at all possible.